A busy day at the post office

We've played hooky the past few days of school to give me a chance to get my Christmas cards done and a few packages ready to mail. Everything was finally set to go today. In my old life, I would plan activities around my post office visits, trying to plot out which substation to go to and when. But I don't have many choices here in Stickville. I figured, at worst, I'd stand in line for a short time and find someone to talk to.

But this is what I found when I went to my post office. Can you believe this is the week before Christmas???


That's my van. The red car belongs to the postmaster. Sometimes I think I'm in love with him. But then I remember that it's his post office that I'm really in love with.

Uh-oh! The rush is on! Just when Larry began weighing my boxes, the telephone rang AND someone else came in!

These are my boxes on both counters.

Hey, no problem. When he hangs up, he leaves the phone off the hook so he can help his in store customers first.

I was there for 20 minutes or so. I had to buy stamps and put them on all my cards. When I was leaving, another customer came in the door. I think I hit it during the rush hour.

My day was totally made by this point. I practically floated home, a goofy grin plastered on my face.

As I drove down my street, I stopped everywhere that looked like a nice shot, blasting Chris Daughtry the whole way.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong.

I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life You chose for me.

Oh, look. It's smoke. The fires are still burning.



"Hi, Rob! How are you, hon? Can I get you anything?!"

My husband is hot, hot, hot

(I think he may kill me if he sees that anytime soon.)

When the land was first cleared for this house a year ago, a bulldozer was brought in, a bunch of trees knocked down, and all was pushed into a clearing away from the house. In the course of negotiations to buy the house, the builder politely declined our request to remove the debris.

Once we moved in, the brush pile grew. We knocked down some trees. (That's the french "we," thank you very much.) Robert cleared more brush out from the trees near the house, and who knows what else was stuck in there. The pile was big to begin with and got a lot bigger.

We'd been under a burning ban for some time, but Robert was just itching to get rid of some of it. He's had a few small fires but he was tired of messing around. We had rain over the weekend, it's been quite cool, and we had no wind--today was the day. We have to call the sheriff's office (or someone) to let them know we'll be burning. I guess it's so they don't send the volunteer fire department out.



Figuring this would fall under Fire Science 101, I convinced Trevor to join in the fun. (Unfortunately, he soon convinced himself otherwise.)



I offered Robert moral support and water when it wasn't conflicting with taking pictures.

We knew it couldn't all burn today, but it was soon obvious that more had to be burning anyway, and pile number two was set.



Rob was out there most of the day. I dropped in occasionally, offering that moral support. "Good job, honey! Eew! It smells like smoke here! Eek, WHY does it keep following ME? I don't want to smell like SMOKE! Ash is getting on my clothes! Do you need anything, honey? Water to drink? Uh, okay, I'll bring you some in a little bit. Bye!"

I haven't been by the creek in several weeks. I walked around by myself in the woods. It was quite a different view now that all the leaves are down. I peeked through the trees and could see all the smoke. And flames.

"Hon? You doing okay up there? Just let me know if you need anything!"

Weekly menu

Encore Presentation

spaghetti, bread, salad

Robert's beef noodle soup

Italian wedding soup

Mount Evans Short Ribs

mango chipotle chicken sausage (don't ask yet; it was on sale)

???

Lunch (with or for):
smoothies
grilled PB&J

On the back burner:
reuben sandwiches, pasta salad, chips
grilled flank steak
fondue
taco salad

Life at my house

After searching for literally several months, we have found two riding instructors for Holly that both sound great. Both women are complete opposites, even teaching different disciplines; each has their definite strengths. Holly will likely take a few lessons from each to decide which one she'd like to work with. She had a BLAST at her first lesson on Friday.



WOO-HOO! This was such a relief--for me. I can't imagine what it was for her. It was one of the difficult things to leave in Colorado, and I know she's happy to be back on a horse after four months. (And she's been pretty sore this weekend too!)

Meanwhile, the cats have RAMPAGED through our Christmas village, stomping down several buildings and dragging away trees. (See Pumpkin back there on the right too.)


Along with bringing death and destruction to Dickens Village, ONE of the cats has been attacking Trevor's Model Magic animals that he made for science. It's a sad day when an Orca is killed by a cat. It's almost as sad as what ONE kitty will find tonight. We've set up a few lovely traps that I'm thinking ONE will fall for, complete with Model Magic bait that Trevor made just for the occasion. We shall see.

Trevor discovers that in addition to building with Lego waffles, he can also arrange them to spell words.



Casting aside any worries (lol), Robert and I left the kids at home to run a few errands together.



We don't get out much often on our own. Other than family, we never used babysitters when the kids were younger. It's not very often that we get a chance to spend time together, just the two of us. It was a GREAT DATE!!!!

As we headed toward Roanoke, I just KNEW he'd stop at the new Starbucks. He's letting me take pictures--plural--of him, you can tell he's in a good mood! Maybe he's just so thrilled with his company.



We browsed through several different stores before heading back. It seems that I/we most often come home just as the sun is getting ready to set. It is SUCH a beautiful time of day!

Recipe - Sweet and Sour Meatballs

I don't know what possessed me to make this. I bought frozen meatballs on sale last week and planned this for dinner, even though we've never had it before. It was easy to make and everyone liked it. We'll definitely have it again! I served it with white rice, and frozen egg rolls and cream cheese wontons.

Sweet and Sour Meatballs

1 lb. frozen meatballs, thawed (I thawed mine in the microwave)
20 oz. can pineapple tidbits, drained with juice reserved
1/3 c. water
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
3 T. cornstarch
3 T. vinegar
1 T. soy sauce (I substituted Worcestershire sauce and it was fine)
1/2 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. seasoned salt
1 carrot, cut into thin rounds
1 green pepper, cut into chunks

To make sauce, add enough extra water to the reserved pineapple juice to make 1 cup. In a large pot, combine juice mixture, 1/3 c. water, brown sugar, cornstarch, vinegar, soy sauce, ginger and seasoning salt until smooth.

Heat on medium heat, stirring occasionally, until sauce is thickened.

Stir in pineapple tidbits, carrot, green pepper, and meatballs into sauce. Cook on low until heated through, stirring occasionally.


**Sliced water chestnuts optional. Add with carrots and green pepper.
**Can also make ahead in crockpot on low.

The Christmas questions

Michele e-mailed this to me, and then I saw it popping up on other loopy blogs. Here goes:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Either!

2. Real tree or artificial?

We've had our artificial tree for years. This is the first time we've had a real tree since the early 90s. The only bad thing is remembering to water it.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Thanksgiving weekend (until this year, which was about two weeks later).

4. When do you take the tree down?

The first week of January.

5. Do you like eggnog?

No!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

The one that stands out is my Baby Go Bye Bye. Looks like it came out in 1969, so I would have been six. :) And I bet this will surprise my mom and dad.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

Yes, I've casually collected them. I should do a blog post with some pics.

8. Hardest person to buy for?

My husband. This year, I was so busy pretending to ignore him when he was telling me that I quite forgot what he said.

And my dad, who already has anything he wants.

9. Easiest person to buy for?

Me? lol (Not really, as I was out Friday also trying to spend my birthday money on myself but not finding anything I wanted.)

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Now that wouldn't be nice!

11. Mail or email Christmas Cards?

Oh, mail.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Christmas Vacation.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

In a good year, November. Otherwise, December.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

What the heck is this? Every single person said emphatically denied this, except Dorothy who qualified it by saying she was destitute.

YES, I've recycled. With plenty of thought. Generic things, like photo frames. Jewelry that I don't wear but that someone else would LOVE. (And I'm quite sure I told my mom when I gave it to her.) But I wouldn't recycle just anything, like those "worst Christmas gifts."

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

I'm supposed to pick just one? How about Baked Brie with Kahlua Pecan Sauce.

16. Clear lights or colored on the trees?

Colored. (And I seem to be alone in that opinion, based on what I've read so far!) We have the ones that twinkle slowly. Probably all the lead that they are covered in.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Mmmm. Used to be Little Drummer Boy. I don't know right now. But I bought Third Day's Christmas Offerings CD for Robert this year, so maybe something off that. And Robert and I each grew up with and still love listening to Bing Crosby's White Christmas.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

Stay home!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

YES! And last year, the kids memorized 'Twas the Night Before Christmas in its entirety. (But I've known the reindeer names for a looooong time.)

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Star. Would you want to sit on a tree for a month?

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Morning!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

I don't know if there's anything annoying . . .

23. What I love most about CHRISTmas?

That it's about JESUS. It's not just a holiday to give presents.

24. Most difficult thing about Christmas?

Yvonne had it right--it seems like 24/7 spiritual warfare. I'm grateful to her for posting that, I sometimes don't see things that way. And I should.

25. Favorite Christmas Tradition?

Oh, different things during different years, it seems. I used to love the Christmas tree lighting in Littleton, and the Denver parade. Watching the kids make their gingerbread house has been fun. I love reading the Jotham's Journey books. And I like opening the stockings when all the presents are gone. I couldn't pick just one tradition consistently!

Thursday Thirteen -- Places I went today

1. We've cut back on school for the next few weeks, but I still left the house today later than planned. My first stop was the post office.



2. On to the library.




3. I filled up my gas tank. (Gas seems quite a bit cheaper here than most places, and I'm thankful for that!)




4. Petsmart. I always get a little tense as I head into Petsmart, but one look at a happy dog, and I relaxed. The employees were really nice too, although they no longer carry what I wanted.



5. Next stop was Target. By this time, it was sprinkling. I didn't have much luck here either.




6. I went to the mall. Roanoke has two good sized malls, which still surprises me. There are some great stores, and it was my first time at this mall. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything on my list, so I left empty handed!

7. I ran a private little errand close by.

8. I went to a store that shall remain a secret, since I was doing some Christmas shopping!



9. I'm vaguely familiar with www.booksamillion.com, although I typically use other online booksellers. I've wanted to check out this store for months. It's in an odd location, pretty old, and the outside is not well maintained. It was DEAD inside too. It's too bad; there was a lot of floor space, books were nicely arranged.



10. I had a coupon for Hamricks and bought myself another pair of sweat pants. I've never heard of this store, I believe it's a decent sized, privately owned chain with several stores in the mid-Atlantic. Their prices are great, and the clothes quality is similar to what I buy at Kohl's.



11. By now, it's waaaay too late. I was planning to be home by now, am still an hour away, and I have no plans for dinner. I rush to Kroger. While this is one of my new "gem" stores (meaning it has a fancy deli, haha), they are out of french bread and have no chicken tenders in the deli. I really do NOT want to stop and buy KFC, blech!



12. It's 6:00, dark, and traffic is still messy. I head down the street to my favorite Kroger and have success. Everyone will eat late, but at least they WILL eat.



13. I didn't have time to stop at Walmart or the cleaners. So I just went home.



I didn't get ALL of my shopping done, but it helped. A lot!

Christmas is coming

We've been a bit behind with some of our Christmas stuff this year. This is the first time EVER that our tree was not up on Thanksgiving weekend. I'm actually hugely relieved about that. I love Christmas, I love (and sooo much appreciate) that Robert does all the decorating, but having a tree up from Thanksgiving through New Year's is too long.

Many, many years ago, we stopped buying "live" trees and bought a fake one. Robert bought it at a terrific discount one December 26 when he was working at BEST. The idea of a fake tree has always been a little embarrassing to me, but that's offset by the fact that we don't have to drop $ every year just on a tree. Besides, it never drops needles, and *I* am not the one that ever has to set it up.

Holly and Trevor think a fake tree is normal. (Maybe it is, but it brings to mind those white metal things from the 1970s.) They were shocked when Robert brought home a real tree this year; they were embarrassed by the real tree. It's gorgeous, and trees here are cheap, almost half of what they are in Colorado. (Isn't that funny?)

Our tree finally went up a week or two "late." I just pulled my Christmas dishes down this week (another one of those Dec. 26 BEST sales). We're doing okay on our shopping; I plan to finish it tomorrow. But I've procrastinated endlessly on Christmas cards, so much that I was thinking we might have to send Happy New Year cards instead. For years, we've sent the card photos, and I didn't really consider doing anything different.

In one of my brilliant moments, I decided we ought to head up to the Appalachian Trail to take our pictures. Never mind that we had to wait for good weather. Never mind that we had to drive an hour. Never mind that Robert's not up to hiking of any sort. Never mind that, despite scouring the internet for days, I had absolutely no clue where we were going. Since it was 70 degrees yesterday, I knew it'd be a perfect day to have wonderful family time, AND at least see the Trail, AND get those cards taken care of. AND everyone was thrilled (not).

I missed the first turn and tried for my second option. We ended up a mile down a dead end road, plastered everywhere with NO TRESPASSING signs. We gave up and went back to the first place, eventually finding the reservoir. We asked the ranger which way the Trail was. He pointed to a ridge three miles away--not exactly what I'd had in mind, as we'd planned to be home for dinner. But the lake was gorgeous, and as long as we didn't stay more than ten minutes, the ranger wouldn't charge us the $10 admission fee.



There's nothing like being prepared--not that I would know anything about that. We didn't have any type of tripod for the camera, so set it up along the rail. I kept telling them we'd need more than five photos to get a good family picture.

(This didn't make the cut, as I inhaled so much I almost fell over.)

But they were too busy having that "family fun" to listen to me. They continued to skip rocks into the lake, as I ran toward the car, sure that we'd been there too long.


We'd stopped at a Mexican grocery along the way, in our never-ending search for whole green chiles. We'd stopped in a tack store. On the way out, we wandered through an older, mostly abandoned cemetery, and drove through the gorgeous Hollins University campus.

And the Christmas card picture? We decided to take it at home, down by the creek. By the time we were all ready to go today, it was getting too dark. We ended up taking our pictures on our back deck. Like yesterday, we propped the camera up on the railing, and like yesterday, we took a total of five shots. We finally found a winner! Okay, so we didn't have to drive for an hour, but it wasn't quite as much fun either!

If it's December . . .

then maybe this is Australia.

Monday morning, 7:30 a.m. 60 degrees.
Tuesday morning, 12:30 a.m. 60 degrees.

Monday was record breaking.

Trevor and I celebrated with Dairy Queen.


We walked around downtown.

The sunset was spectacular.


I revel in this weather.

Robert sits on the porch at 9 p.m. in shorts and a tshirt, grumbling and wishing for snow. He's going to move north, he swears. Somewhere cold. Boston.

I reply, "See ya later, baby!"

Heater's off, windows are open. This is great.

Random thoughts and New Life Church

I am heartsick.

Not a church that we belonged to, but a church a few miles away from our house in Colorado Springs. The kids attended an amazing homeschool co-op there 1-2 times a week for the past two years. It's a large church, over 10,000 members, we've attended a few functions there, and we knew a lot of people there.

I cried today when telling my kids. I didn't want to tell them; but neither did I want them to hear or see of it somewhere else first.

It is so difficult, impossible, to understand how this can happen. At church. Sisters. At Christmas, as we eagerly anticipate celebrating the birth of our Savior.

Two staff members at a missionary center.

How can any family find comfort in that?

And what about the family of the gunman?

As I try to explain to my kids, I want to offer them any kind of comfort, any kind of reassurance . . . and I cannot. The places that regular, NORMAL people see as safe, schools, churches . . . evil takes as opportunity.

We grieve again with a church which has already undergone so much heartbreak, so much public scrutiny. And they've shown they can truly walk in the Spirit. They'll continue too, I have no doubt.

The security guard, armed, female. Holly and I discussed the irony this morning. Two days ago, it would have been shocking to hear of an armed guard at church. And this woman saved untold lives. Rob and I saw her interviewed on tv tonight. She's amazing. She clearly sees God's plan for her part in this.

Trevor said tonight that he was very glad it was the same gunman at Youth With a Mission and New Life. He said he worried that if there were two, the one that got away would come here.

I know it comes back to celebrating our Savior. Christmas. Resurrection. As adults, it's hard enough to try to make sense of this . . .

* * * *

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

Weekly menu

buffalo chicken pizza from Sam's Club!

cheeseburgers, pasta salad

blats (blts with avocado), cottage cheese, tortilla chips and salsa

meatloaf, baked potatoes, broccoli

quiche, spinach salad

sweet and sour meatballs, rice

?????, Dorothy's colcannon (let's try for that again)



Lunch (with or for):
smoothies
grilled PB&J

On the back burner:
mango chipotle chicken sausage
reuben sandwiches, pasta salad, chips
grilled flank steak
fondue
taco salad

Book Review - Spirits in the Field by Bruce Hopkins

Author Bruce Hopkins is drawn back to his native Appalachian roots in the mountains of Kentucky when the Department of Transportation announces plans to construct a new highway. The proposed highway will cut directly across Hopkins' family graveyards, some of which date back 200 years.

Hopkins spends six years unearthing . . . umm, digging through . . . (okay, I'm really sorry) his family history in an attempt to trace the graves, some of which are unmarked.

It's an interesting book. However, the author carelessly throws around the names of two dozen dead people, and it's impossible for the reader to remember who is who. There's not even an accompanying tree or chart to help. I didn't care for the author's "retellings" of his imagined lengthy conversations between people he never knew. I liked reading of his earlier childhood memories, and his continual struggles with the DOT in an effort to get them to comply with the laws regarding re-burials.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend this book, but it kept me entertained long enough to finish it within a few days. Chalk it up to yet another in a string of obscure books, I suppose.

I'm here -- kind of!

Second part of my whirlwind week:

We lucked out twice with the weather. At least I am happy. We had a few snowflakes in the air on Wednesday morning. Other places had real snow, and as a result Holly's riding lesson was postponed. The kids and Robert were wishing for real snow here though.

I was able to get next week's school schedules written on Thursday. (Of course, I might not get them typed up until Monday morning . . . )

Yesterday morning, the weather was bad again, icy roads and a head on accident on the highway we take to Roanoke. All was clear in the afternoon for my lovely minor female-type surgery. It went fine. I stayed in a pain med-induced stupor and went to bed by 8:00. I'm not in any pain; I'm just working hard at preventing it. :) Each time I tried to crawl out of bed this morning, I returned ten minutes later. Again, no pain, definitely a good thing! Even my face is numb.

I was able to make my appearance at the neighbor's jewelry party. After getting my car stuck in their driveway (it's across the street, but I drove), I called Robert to rescue the car. Once inside, I stumbled over an unexpected step, but at least I wasn't the only one. The most amazing thing is that I didn't fall flat on my face.

Trevor really had wanted to go to the local homeschool group Christmas party tonight. Knowing that I wouldn't be up for making the potluck food, I asked him what he wanted me to bring. "Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese," he suggested. Ah! Perfect! I pulled it out of the freezer, baked it in the over, and stuck it in my own casserole dish. It was the second dish to disappear tonight, right after someone else's chicken nuggets. :) And Robert made chocolate chip cookie bars. We stayed at the rather small party for two hours, leaving before the group went caroling.

So far, so good. Now I'm ready for bed.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but it doesn't really matter. I'm not at the point of remembering much yet.

Yawn.

Trevor's art

Trevor and I read this book today as he learns the history of medieval Japan.


But I have my own boy who draws cats.


I need to find a good drawing teacher for this kid . . .

One of those DAZE

I never did get my menu up yesterday, which means I have no idea what we'll be eating this week. Now that I have some idea (and 2/7 of the week has passed), I don't know when I'll actually shop for these things. I think I'm overly optimistic.

We woke up today when our power went out at 4 a.m. I woke up, Trevor woke up. I woke Robert up to get a flashlight, and when I made my way to Trevor's room, Holly was awake and said he could come into her room. I fumbled around in the basement to find the regular phone (our others are cordless and plug in), and I called the power company. I woke up again at 6 and a 7, when our power went on for a few seconds and shut off again. Really--at that point, why in the world should anyone get up?

At 9:15, everything came on for good--including the heater--so it was a good time to crawl out of bed. School was called off for the day.

At lunchtime (not that anyone had actually eaten lunch), we headed to Roanoke. We were in a desperate crunch to buy Holly shoes. She's been needing something for winter, and she needed it for tonight. Her pink flip flops or bright blue Crocs weren't going to work.

After racing through the mall, we made our next appointment. I volunteered the kids to work at a food pantry one afternoon a month. This was the first day, and we spent a few hours sorting food, stocking shelves, etc. It went pretty well, and Holly and Trevor did a great job.

Holly had a Christmas party tonight through her 4-H group--a Chinese food potluck. While in town, we picked up Chinese takeout and a present before heading home. She had just enough time to change clothes and we were out the door again.

The party was fine--I guess. All the moms stayed, but I stayed in the kitchen and chatted with another mom while the girls did their stuff in other parts of the house. The leader is a local high school teacher, and he led the girls in prayer before beginning--that was a nice plus for the evening. They had a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange (where you can steal someone else's present), and Holly ended up with a nice bracelet. She had a good time.

It was one of those "daze," in part because it's one of those weeks. The next several days will be just about as crazy--and it might snow tomorrow afternoon . . .

Weekly menu

pumpkin soup, cornbread

YOYO

Emily's Greek soup, rolls, pretzel jello salad

Chicken Divine, scalloped potatoes (box), Ginger's Spinach Salad

Robert's choice

homeschool group Christmas dinner

smoked pork chops, Dorothy's colcannon, ???


Lunch (with or for):
smoothies
grilled PB&J

On the back burner:
blts, cottage cheese, tortilla chips and salsa
reuben sandwiches, pasta salad, chips
grilled flank steak
fondue
taco salad

A Christmas parade

Our county seat's population is 4,000, and our county 's is about 50,000. So I was, mmm, curious about what the Christmas parade would be like. We were a little surprised to hear that there were 110 entries.

Holly wasn't so interested in going; neither was Robert. I almost decided to skip the whole thing, but thankfully, Trevor expressed his enthusiasm, and we were off. I'm weaning myself from that "city" mode of thinking--that you have to get there an hour ahead of time to get "good" seats. We arrived about five minutes early. There was a great turnout, and we found easy parking less than two blocks away.

The parade turns right and circles downtown at the stoplight there.



It was sprinkling very lightly, and we found a dry doorway to wait for the parade to begin. Trevor found a friendly dog.



The first several cars were convertibles and kept their tops down, even with the misty rain (which only lasted 10 more minutes).

As expected, there were the usual marching bands and cheerleaders.



And baton-fire twirlers. It was mid-40s, and I bet these girls were cold.



The real name of the parade might have included the word "CANDY." Every single group that went by threw out handfuls of candy to everyone. We noticed some kids watching had grocery stacks to hold their stash. At some point, my kids were overwhelmed and stopped even picking it up.

I diligently did my part.



There were boy scouts and church groups.



And Sponge Bob and Jesus. ????



Please tell me that every parade has floats pulled by semi's.



And Tim the Toolman Taylor lawnmowers.



And floats pulled by tractors.

Please?



Robert expressed his desire for this tractor, prompting the woman next to us to inquire if we had a large spread of land. We laughed. I don't think he could turn this around on our street.

The whole thing lasted almost an hour and a half, and then we got to join the parade of cars trying to get out. But that was well worth it. It was a great day, a great parade, a great way to kick off the start of Christmas in our new town. I am SO very glad that Trevor wanted to go!!! It's a day I won't ever forget. :)

Christmas flowers

Robert brought two of these home for me the other day. Normally, I'd think, "Poinsettia, schmoinsettia." I'm kind of a flower scrooge--all I can think about is how much money they cost. But these are so pretty! I love how they are sprayed with glitter to make the leaves sparkle.

Did you know that the colored top leaves really are leaves, not flowers? The flowers are the tiny little yellow things in the middle.

Poinsettias are a native plant of Mexico, and that's where the plants first became associated with Christmas. An old legend tells of a child who had no gift to bring the Christ child at Christmas Eve services. After being told that the most humble gift, if given in love, would be acceptable in His eyes, she picked a bouquet of weeds from the side of the road. When laid at the foot of the nativity, the weeds bloomed red and green, and people were sure they'd experienced a miracle.

* * *

And now you know why I do well at Trivial Pursuit.

A 21st Century Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a Mom who was not a technological wizard. (That would be last night.)


She was happy that way. She did not like to stretch her mind at all to learn new things. She believed that denial was a good thing. (Works for me.)

This served her life very well for many years. But her 9 year old son didn't go for it.

"Mom," he said one day, "I want to download the Ben10 song onto my MP3 player."

The Mom secretly worried. Although she'd crossed giant rivers and moved mountains, this could be the biggest challenge she'd faced yet. (But she would do anything for this sweet boy.)


"Of course, my darling," she lovingly replied. "It will be easy." ( And she began desperately googling 'MP3 downloads for idiots,' all of which were far too complex for her to understand.)

Unfortunately, the Mom could not find the computer discs that had been packed away in the basement. (And was thus able to gain an overnight reprieve.)

The next morning, the little boy was ready to go at 7:00 a.m. The Mom was ready to leave two hours later. Because the Mom always wants low prices, they found themselves at Walmart.


Inside the store, the Mom was overwhelmed by the choices.


She sought assistance from the clerk. (Correctly assuming that anybody under the age of 40 could help.)

The clerk did not understand the Mom. "You just need a USB cord. Why do you need a disc?"

"Oh, no," assured the Mom, "it doesn't have a USB port." (She called Robert immediately, to double check that there was no port. Fortunately, he's a tad more technical than she is.)

"Well, you see," explained the Mom to the clerk, "he has this player . . . "

"Oh!" exclaimed the girl knowingly, "It uses MP3 **format**!" (She's clearly used to helping idiots.)



The Mom's brain began to hurt. Her eyes glazed over as she continued to smile brightly and pretend to understand. Sixty seconds later, the Mom had the discs clutched in her hand, and the little boy led her to the checkouts.

(Incredibly, at 9:30 a.m. on Dec. 1, there were no lines at Walmart.)


Now came the hard part. (Because you can't just download it and save it immediately to the disc. Apparently. Maybe. Maybe not.)


The Mom worked hard at the computer. An hour later, she gave the new disc to the little boy.




It worked! Yay, Mom! Yay, little boy! Now the little boy can do all the downloading on his own. The Mom can go back to her happy state of denial and ignorance.

And they all lived happily ever after.